Aimee Zeidman didn’t used to think of her gender as a hindrance.

As a distributor sales rep new to the industry, she was fortunate to learn the ropes from a confident female business owner who commanded respect and received it. Zeidman encountered few, if any, gender-related challenges in their business dealings. Working in sales and promotional products felt practically gender-equal.

Heartened by her positive experience, Zeidman finally went all in and started her own distributorship – Unforgettable Goods (asi/348200) – about two years ago. She did well enough that, less than a year after opening her doors, she brought on an extra pair of hands to help her generate leads on LinkedIn. Her hire was a semi-retired former salesman in his 60s who had extensive experience in face-to-face sales but none in using social to prospect. Zeidman put together a basic LinkedIn profile for him, and wrote word for word the message he should send after a contact accepted his connection request to introduce Unforgettable Goods’ products and services.

Podcast

Vicki Clayman, president of Partners N Promotion, discusses her experience as a woman building a career in the promotional industry, and the gender-based challenges she’s had to face.

But Zeidman noticed something that took her aback: Her new co-worker (someone with no social media experience) was generating connections on LinkedIn at about eight times Zeidman’s rate, all while using messaging and answers written by Zeidman. Even worse, Zeidman’s LinkedIn profile featured far more references, recommendations and articles she’d written.

Prospects “pay so much more attention to him,” she says. “Even if they can’t use our services at the moment, they at least tell him ‘Thank you’ or ‘We’re good for now.’ They’re polite to him. They don’t even respond to me.” And it can’t be chalked up to the prospects’ ages, because most of them are women in their 20s and 30s who work in the event marketing and planning space.

“I never thought I had a problem before I compared myself with him,” says Zeidman. “I’ve realized there’s such a difference between how people view men and women, and it has nothing to do with looks or age, or even who’s doing the looking. If this had been my experience from the beginning, it would’ve been very discouraging for me. Like, no matter how hard you try, it won’t happen for you.”

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Women are no strangers to snubbing, condescension, disrespect and even outright hostility in the workplace. The Pew Research Center recently found women are twice as likely as men (42% to 22%) to experience gender discrimination at work; compared to 6% of men, nearly a quarter of women (23%) said they’ve been treated as though they were not competent because of their gender. Another recent study, this one by McKinsey entitled “Women in the Workplace 2017,” found that only about 40% of women feel their managers advocate for them for opportunities, provide advice to help them advance and defend them or their work.

The office is a far better place for women than decades ago, yet significant workplace challenges remain – the gender-based disrespect, the compensation discrepancies, the lack of support. Those issues were always there, but have been unearthed anew in the wake of #MeToo. The movement started last fall as a call for solidarity for the victims of sexual assault and harassment. But as it mushroomed into a seismic global event, it’s empowered women to stand up to the inequalities they face in all facets of their lives – including (and especially) the workplace. If anyone believed that gender inequality in business was finally solved, #MeToo has revealed there’s still a ways to go.

Women in the promotional industry are heartened by the worldwide publicity gender inequality has recently received, since many have been grappling with it for years, or even decades. For the industry, #MeToo hasn’t produced the dramatic before-and-after shift that has played out in, say, Hollywood. Rather, it’s shined a light on the steady progress industry women have achieved while revealing the steps yet to be taken. It’s further legitimatized their concerns and compelled them to keep marching toward positive change. And while leading women in the industry have consistently banded together in solidarity, the flash of #MeToo has underscored the continued need for unity.

These women are encouraged by significant improvements in the workplace environment and client relations, marked by increasing gender equality, mutual respect and peer support. They desire to be at the forefront of that change – hungry to succeed, deserving of the opportunity to advance and capable of great things.

“There’s so much blood, sweat and tears that goes into owning a business,” says Renya Nelson, CEO of Brand+Aid (asi/145193). “I love all that. I’m not afraid of it and I want to show women that I can take this as far as I could ever dream. I want them to believe it’s possible for a woman to be CEO of a Top 40 company. It’s one day at a time, one decision at a time.”

hen Vicki Clayman started in the promo industry in 1984, women only made up (in her estimation) about 10% of it, among both suppliers and distributors. Most of the other 90% who showed up at trade shows were “middle-aged men in old polyester leisure suits,” she says. Though she laughs about it now, it was a tough environment for women to break in to. “It was intimidating because the men all knew each other,” says Clayman, now the president of Partners N Promotion (asi/350153). “Women, especially young women, weren’t shown a lot of respect. You’d be in a presentation with supplier reps and they would talk to just the guys in the room.”

When Kate Plummer, vice president of sales & marketing at Canada-based Clearmount (asi/45440), started at her family’s company in her early 20s, clients would try to take advantage of her. “I sounded like a child on the phone and clients would say, ‘Go ask your dad for a better price,’ or ‘I can talk to someone higher up, right?’” she says. Women now make up much more of the industry than they did 30 years ago, but Plummer and others still have to be intentional about commanding respect from others. “It hasn’t stopped completely, but they’re less bold,” she says. “I’m very conscious that, when I interact with someone, it has to be in a certain way. When I say my title, I’m very deliberate about it.”

Nina Shatz, brand development director at Top 40 distributor HALO Branded Solutions (asi/356000), has had similar experiences where she felt patronized because of her gender. “Would my complaint be pushed higher up the chain if I was male? Yes, I think so,” she says. “If I put a male voice from HALO on the line, would there be a little more action than if it was just my voice? Yes. And that’s happened.”

Women are also conscious of being judged according to how they react to these situations. Britney Godsey, vice president of sales at Top 40 supplier Gold Bond (asi/57653), remembers one particular sales call when she and a male colleague met a client who couldn’t seem to accept the fact that Godsey was running the meeting. “He kept saying to me, ‘But you’re not the one in charge, right?’” says Godsey. The client also left the meeting multiple times to tend to “more important things.” Godsey stuck it out, much to her colleague’s disbelief. “If I had left,” she says, “it would have been, ‘There’s that kid who can’t handle anything. She’s overly emotional.’ It’s sad that we have to talk about it, and it’s unfortunate that we gloss over instances of it because it’s been the norm.”

Clayman remembers a sales call when she was pitching acrylic desk clocks. When the end-buyer asked her if they were durable and she assured him they were, he proceeded to throw the sample on the ground. The clock shattered, and the client watched Clayman for her reaction. “He was testing me, to see if I would get emotional or shaken up,” says Clayman, who dealt with the situation calmly. “He wouldn’t have done that to a man.”

Reyna Hernandez, owner of Creative Branding Co. (asi/171045), once ordered bags from a supplier for a client, and clearly communicated the very firm in-hands date. The supplier missed the shipment and the event, and then wouldn’t take responsibility for the mistake. When Hernandez asked to speak to the manager to discuss a resolution, the supplier rep and manager – both men – called her with no intent to apologize.

“It was a bullying, intimidation tactic to gang up on me,” she says. “But I had had two years of law school, so I kept calm and listened to both sides. I made my case and finally did get an apology and a refund on part of the order. To have that conversation was just ridiculous, but I had to get through to them.”

s the recent #MeToo movement spotlighted the prevalence of harassment, sexual and otherwise, the sheer breadth of its occurrence has been nothing less than shocking. According to a CNBC poll, more than a quarter of women (27%) have experienced sexual harassment in the workplace. (Men are also subject to this epidemic; one in 10 males has been sexually harassed at work, according to the poll.)

Particularly in a work setting, propositioning and other forms of harassment are attended by shame, confusion and general emotional turmoil, since often a sale – and perhaps even a career – are on the line. “It’s that horrific moment of conflict,” says Kathy Cheng, president of Redwood Classics Apparel (asi/81627). “Do you confront bad behavior or go with it for business reasons?”

Shatz says that inner strife is very real, and she knows it well. “I’ve been told, ‘If you come to my office, I’d be happy to give you an order,’” she says. “Or, ‘Let’s get a drink at your hotel and we’ll talk about working together.’ I’m struggling with the idea that, ‘Wow, this person could write a deal and I could do $20 million with them this year.’”

And it’s not limited to clients. Former employers have encouraged Shatz to use her appearance, not just her sales skills, to her advantage. “They’ve said, ‘It’s smarter for you to make a sales call in person. You’ll sell more,’” she says. “Then I have two thoughts. The feminist in me says, ‘Are you serious?’ But another thought is, ‘Wow, you think I’m that pretty that it would make a difference?’ We’re taught that pretty gets more, but it’s a hard line to walk.”

The recent #MeToo movement has certainly done its part to shed light on these objectifying remarks and how often women hear them from both men and women. “There are still comments made about making sure we wear a short skirt or low-cut top to make the sale,” says Sarah Penn, CEO of U.K.-based Outstanding Branding (asi/288519). “It reinforces the stereotypes about how women get the sale done, and it’s disappointing. Twenty years ago, they were throwaway comments that were accepted. Now you’re crossing the line.”

But by voicing concern about these remarks, women risk angering the culprit, whether male or female, and thus being labeled difficult to work with or over-sensitive, which could jeopardize a current sale and future opportunities, both inside and outside the company.

“A lot of women still fear retaliation,” says Anita Bruzzese, a syndicated columnist and award-winning journalist and author specializing in career and workplace issues. “Women who speak out against high-profile men are going to get the support and the tweets from Hollywood. I’m more worried about a woman in a manufacturing plant in the Midwest, or in high tech who’s missing important meetings. I’ve talked to low-level employees at companies named a best place to work and they say, ‘Maybe corporate HQ is a great place to work, but that’s not our experience.’”

Especially in a close-knit industry such as promotional products, women feel pressured to acquiesce and not defend themselves in order to protect their name and character. “We feel like we have to let comments slide to keep our jobs,” says Plummer. “More people worry about how they’re perceived because it’s a small industry. You don’t want to be seen as pushy or aggressive – words that aren’t as often applied to men. We want to keep the waters calm and have a good reputation. Women get a lot of crap if they’re not nice, it seems.”

The workplace challenges certainly remain, but despite all that, the promotional products industry has experienced plenty of positive change – long before #MeToo. Around the mid-1990s, Clayman noticed that the boys’ club she had faced for about 10 years was beginning to retire, and there were more female reps at both supplier and distributor firms. “These women started seeking each other out and building relationships,” says Clayman. “They helped each other build their respective businesses.” Clayman says the momentum really picked up by the turn of the millennium, owing in part to the arrival of second-generation owners. “Their fathers were part of the boys’ club, but their kids are of a different generation and they’re great partners,” she says. “They were raised differently.”

The industry has certainly become more diverse and women-friendly, says Kim Bakalyar, chief compliance officer/vendor relations at Top 40 distributor PromoShop (asi/300446), who started in the industry the same time as Clayman. “The boys’ club isn’t as prevalent,” she says. “But I’ve been lucky – the men I’ve worked for have been very empowering and good mentors who gave me the opportunity to prove myself.”

Godsey says her male colleagues are also very supportive of the women at Gold Bond and the relationships they’re forging with their industry counterparts. “We have tremendous support from the men,” she says. “They tell us, ‘Join forces! Have advocates!’ There’s definitely a mutual respect now, and most men, if you’re causing positive change, they’re behind you all the way.”

hile #MeToo has put mostly male-female power struggles in the spotlight, not all challenges that women face come from men. A recent study by the Workplace Bullying Institute found that female bullies target female co-workers 67% of the time. (By comparison, 35% of male bullies targeted other men.) A study by the Harvard Business Review found that, of women who experienced incivility from other women, 47% decreased their time at work and 80% were less productive just by thinking about it.

While many women within the industry are making a conscious effort to build their support network (including through women’s groups and conferences), the efforts to unify are by no means complete. Zeidman knows first-hand, having been snubbed on LinkedIn by young women while her 60-something male assistant has no problem receiving responses from the same leads. “Women are just as guilty of disrespecting other women as men are,” she says. “They ignore me and give him the attention. We’re all guilty of profiling and not giving everyone a fair shake. We don’t always encourage each other.”

But beyond mere rebuffs, female competition in the workplace can turn into outright hostility. “#MeToo is all about standing by each other, but as soon as you do something to better yourself, women climb on top of you,” says Zeidman. “Some are catty and gossipy. They say ‘Kiss-up’ instead of ‘Good for her.’ This doesn’t do anything for women.”

Penn says this competition is so widespread in Britain that it actually has a name: Tall Poppy Syndrome. It refers to the natural phenomenon of the poppy flower; if one stalk grows taller than the others around it, they gang up on it, choke it and pull it down. “When someone does well in this country, our first instinct is to rip them down,” she explains. “People say, ‘Why not me? How did they cheat?’ If it’s a woman, ‘Who bankrolled it? Her husband? Her boyfriend?’”

Despite those phenomena, there exists a foundation of women having strong, supportive relationships with other women. This includes female end-buyers, who are increasing in numbers as women make more buying decisions. “My best clients are all women I greatly respect, who climbed their way up to where they are in male-oriented companies,” says Shatz. “They’re sharper than the guys who just buy from you for your looks. I have to prove myself and I appreciate that.”

In the industry, the increase in female representation has eased the competition for coveted places at the table. Bakalyar says that while female sales reps used to be in the minority when she started, the office where she now works is 100% women, and that’s empowering. “We have varying degrees of experience and we leverage each other’s strengths,” she says. “When it comes to bonds between women, I’ve been lucky. Those I’ve worked with have respected each other. We certainly disagreed, but it was always about the team, not ‘me.’ We have fun together and we genuinely care about each other.”

Industry women’s professional development events have also underscored the need for women to support each other instead of compete for the same opportunities. Bakalyar says she was heartened by the atmosphere at a recent Women’s Leadership Conference (WLC), hosted each year by the Promotional Products Association International (PPAI). “To hear industry women of all ages, shapes, sizes and colors talk about what they’ve done and share their advice,” she says, “it shows what huge steps our industry has taken.”

Plummer is on the planning committee for the annual Women’s Empowerment Event (WEE) in Toronto, which welcomes industry women for two days of education, breakout sessions and networking. It celebrated its ninth anniversary this past May, but it’s been a long road. “WEE really had to fight for support,” says Plummer. “Women’s events are something we have to push for more. I hate when men say, ‘So when’s the men’s event?’ Often, the decisions to improve funding and sponsorship are made by older males and they say, ‘Like a girls’ weekend, right?’”

In addition to more conferences and networking events, the industry could organize a formal, ongoing, one-on-one mentorship program, says Shatz, in which experienced women could take the newer ones under their wing. “It should be more than just learning the business,” she says. “Help them make the right choices going forward, and validate their feelings to remind them they’re not alone.” If people are intimidated by one-on-one mentoring, adds Shatz, the industry should consider a forum where women could ask questions anonymously.

Others would also like more of an opportunity to network with women in similar positions to their own, particularly if they’re owners of companies facing a unique set of challenges. “When I have big questions about running a company, I don’t always feel like there are women I can reach out to,” says Nelson. “I want to get to that great growth curve, but it’s difficult as a creative agency. Men have come to me asking me how we did it. They’re not intimidated. But I think women are still intimidated to reach out.”

n the past two years, Gold Bond has brought on 10 new sales reps, six of whom are women. Godsey noticed something interesting (and heartening) about the female hires. Instead of quietly acquiescing to the job and proposed compensation, they dug deeper to find out more about the career prospects Gold Bond could offer them.

“They wanted to know about their career progression,” she says. “They wanted to know they’d have opportunities to expand further and what the career landscape would look like.”

Bakalyar says this burgeoning strength can be credited to a new generation of women entering the workforce who have come of age in a gradually improving work environment. “They’re now stronger and more self-assured,” says Bakalyar. “They know what they want and what they’re worth. The generation before them paved the way for them and raised them to be independent, to know they’re worth it.”

Could a confident new generation erase one of the most dismaying facts of gender inequality? The “Women in the Workplace 2017” study by McKinsey found that 25% of women earned less than a man who was doing the same job, while just 5% of men earned less than a female colleague. While the women featured here didn’t share experiences of outright lost compensation because of their gender, they say it’s taken a more indirect form: hesitating to ask for deserving compensation. Many choose to keep quiet out of a fear that they won’t be hired, or (if they’re already employed) being denied advancement opportunities because they’re too demanding. “Women can be more passive than men,” says Godsey. “We say to ourselves, ‘I’ll keep working really hard and my pay will increase when the time comes.’”

Plummer says it’s a universal challenge for women to be their own advocates for more pay and opportunities for advancement. “They say, ‘I can’t ask for more. That’s what they offered me.’ No, that’s the lowest they’re offering you,” she says. “But they’re worried they won’t get hired if they ask for more.”

Bruzzese says it’s not a situation that’s impossible to overcome. Women need more opportunities to practice negotiating, from the time they’re in school to the workplace, she explains. Women who are skilled at negotiating, both for compensation and in sales, should offer to mentor. They can also help their peers avoid “up speak” (where every declarative sentence sounds like a question) and overusing the filler word “like,” both of which come from a lack of confidence, she says.

“If you don’t practice confidence, it becomes more difficult over time,” says Bruzzese. “So when a woman is presented with a challenging situation, she either leans in or collapses. They can practice and run through scenarios, even if it’s just in front of the mirror, so when they’re nervous that muscle memory kicks in. Women have nothing to apologize for.”

But it takes time, as well as a deep-seated belief among women that they deserve what they’re asking for. “I don’t agree with allowing yourself to become a victim, as though as a woman you’re automatically one,” says Megan Erber, sales manager at S&S Activewear (asi/84358) and a Navy veteran who teaches classes on personal safety. “When I teach jujitsu, I tell my students, ‘You can’t just be thinking about your next move. You have to think three or four steps ahead. And you can’t sit back and wait for someone else to make the rules of how you should feel.’”

And that comes from being bold and vocal about expectations and concerns. “We need to speak up more,” says Hernandez. “We have to be strong enough to ask for what we want. We have to go after it. That’s the beauty of today’s world. There are opportunities; we just want an equal playing field.”

Self-advocacy alone may not be enough. It’s going to take a more formalized commitment to gender equality at companies, as well as a greater number of women in executive roles. A recent report by McKinsey found that caucasian women make up just 18% of the C-suite; for women of color, it’s just 3%. “Women need to be decision-makers so they can help level the playing field,” says Bruzzese. “They need a seat at the table. Until women have a say in the making of money and how it’s spent, things won’t change.”

Even though these leading women feel the promotional products industry has come a long way regarding gender equity, they say the journey isn’t complete. They want all women to be respected as equals with their male (and female) counterparts. They want to be seen as capable professionals who can close the sale based on carefully honed negotiating skills, not the length of their skirt. They want all women to know that they have every right to be confident in their abilities, regardless of past treatment.

To effect change, these women are standing up for themselves when they’re treated unjustly or condescendingly. They’re advocating for their own career mobility. And they’re banding together to offer each other support and advice. “We still have a long way to go, but we’re having an impact,” says Hernandez. “Our voices are being heard. We’re not as ignored anymore.”

Gender Differences

ASI surveyed male and female sales reps, managers and owners in the promotional products industry about their pay and job satisfaction. The findings? While there are notable differences in compensation and preferred compensation plans, both sides are equally satisfied in their jobs.

Sara Lavenduski is the senior editor for Advantages. Tweet: @SaraLav_ASI. Contact: slavenduski@asicentral.com